I think someone put a sign on my back when I wasn’t looking. Every day – no matter where I go – I get stopped by acquaintances and associates who want to tell me of the latest horrid branding effort they’ve come across. Some of them tell me so that I’ll have the opportunity to help out the poor souls that are stuck with the strategy, some tell me to show me they’ve soaked in the messages I deliver in my seminars, and some just tell me to watch me cringe.
This doesn’t just happen at my desk. It happens in my neighborhood, at the store, or even while I’m eating lunch at a local diner.
Honestly, I love it. I have my ideal job.
I love the fact that I’m not only helping companies develop solid brands, but I’m also able to educate consumers to look for companies that have solid identites. Many rather large companies do some pretty odd stuff when it comes to attracting customers.
The latest story is brought to you by Dana FitzGerald – Stokefire’s Client Relations Consultant.
Dana saw a commercial for Wachovia that I’ll paraphrase second-hand (so it is entirely likely that this will be rather like a game of Operator where what I say has nothing to do with the original commercial.) It goes like this:
- Enter boy preparing to leave the country the next day.
- The night before he leaves (after bank hours) boy realizes that he doesn’t have his Passport (because it is in Wachovia’s vault.)
- Boy’s dad calls the banker at home
- Banker meets dad and boy at bank (still after hours) to open the vault and retrieve the Passport.
- Everyone is happy.
- Tagline – Something like “We’re obsessed with customer service”
Nice story, right? Well
, Dana was a customer (a pretty happy one even) and she had no clue what any of the bankers names were, let alone what their phone numbers might be.
Here are a few problems with the Wachovia commercial:
- Your average bank customer (even a Wachovia customer) has no clue what their bankers’ names are, so they’re probably not going to be able to find them in a phone book.
- An intelligent bank officer isn’t going to give out their home number to a customer they aren’t dating.
- An intelligent bank officer isn’t going to go into their vault after-hours with no security or backup and let two people gain access to the bank. (Especially when you know that they’re trying to leave the country…)
- It doesn’t pass the reality test. I think we all know that the bank isn’t going to open up at 1 AM to let us calm our fears that our money is gone, or to get access to a critical document. If they did it for everyone they’d never get any sleep – and they’d be a 24 hour bank… which they aren’t.
Here’s what I love most. It isn’t just Dana. The word is getting around. Consumers don’t need to be cattle – we can judge companies based on real issues, not the stuff that advertisements throw in our faces.
So Manitoba, Baltimore, National Association of Realtors, Wachovia, and all the rest of you who are going out there with the same old messaging… it is time to get down with your real bad selves. Drop the glitz, the sizzle, the fake emotional ties – find something real to talk about. Give us a reason to do business with you that we wouldn’t find in a schmaltzy greeting card.
Until then you’ll find me on the other end of the phone at 1 AM asking why I can’t get the customer service I deserve.
Tate Linden
Principal Consultant
Stokefire Consulting Group
703-778-9925
P.S. Got a horrid brand name, tagline, or messaging tactic you want to share? Post here or give us a call. We can’t get enough of this stuff.
