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The Art of the 1560 Word Press Release

October 4, 2006 | Tate Linden
We direct you to this bit of PR.

If you don't have time to read it just check out our Abridged and Bulletized version (Really, it is shorter):
  • Sinus Buster is first FDA registered Capsaicin nasal spray
  • Sinus Buster is on its way to becoming a household name
  • Sinus Buster is outselling their closest competitor by 3 to 1
  • Sinus Buster is outselling their closest competitor by 24%
  • Price Chopper is an upscale store
  • Sinus Buster costs twice as much as their closest competitor
  • Sinus Buster isn't spending much on advertising
  • Sinus Buster is unique because it contains the same chemical that provides the heat for hot peppers.
  • The inventor of Sinus Buster is a wild self-defense instructor who teaches women how to destroy attackers.
  • The inventor has done more than 50 live demonstrations that involved him getting sprayed in the face with pepper spray
  • The inventor has been on Oprah
  • The inventor suffered from cluster headaches and a runny nose.
  • The inventor tried every modern medicine but couldn't solve his problem
  • Someone sprayed the inventor in the face with pepper spray when he had a headache and the headache went away.
  • The inventor finds this promising.
  • The inventor invents pepper spray designed to be shot up the nostril willingly
  • The inventor squirts hot pepper up lots of noses and the owners of the noses love it!
  • The inventor loses his job and becomes desperate
  • The inventor uses homeopathic manufacturing to make Sinus Buster
  • The inventor sells Sinus Buster on eBay and sales were brisk
  • The inventor creates a website
  • Sinus Buster is on its way to stardom
  • Sinus Buster is featured in the Wall Street Journal
  • Sinus Buster has a bigger office space than we do
  • Sinus Buster is a "top seller"
  • The big chains are going to carry Sinus Buster one day
  • Sinus Buster has a national sales manager that thinks Sinus Buster is a huge winner.
  • Sinus Buster conquers a variety of chronic health conditions - and every product works great!
  • Big companies don't understand the Web.
  • The Web is a corporate tool
  • Science Buster sells stuff over the web
  • Sinus Buster has a national sales manager that thinks selling stuff on the web and in retail stores is a winning idea.
  • Sinus Buster's CEO is also the inventor
  • Sinus Buster's CEO thinks his national sales manager is right on
  • Sinus Buster's CEO adjusts certain aspects of Sinus Buster based on stuff he hears from his clients
  • Sinus Buster does not use fake clients to adjust certain aspects of Sinus Buster
  • Sinus Buster has a Director of Operations that all that stuff that the CEO and Sales guy say is bunk
  • Sinus Buster's Director of Operation thinks that the success comes from innovation
  • Sinus Buster's Director of Operation likes his R&D and Marketing departments.
  • Sinus Buster has stories in the news every week
  • Sinus Buster works
  • Sinus Buster is releasing new products for you RIGHT NOW
  • Sinus Buster is priced and transported to resellers creatively
  • Sinus Buster is a maverick because they don't use middlemen.
  • Sinus Buster knows how to explain what not using middlemen means.
  • Sinus Buster proves this by actually explaining what not using middlemen means.
  • Sinus Buster thinks making Sinus Buster is hard because Sinus Buster has high standards
  • Sinus Buster uses Automated Homeopathically Controlled Production Methods for quality and naturalness.
  • Since Sinus Buster has killed the middlement they can keep stores and clients from defaulting on their bills. (Damn those middlemen!)
  • Sinus Buster is going to try to sell to some big retailers this week.
  • Sinus Buster's Director of Sales knows that the big retailers are named CVS, Rite-Aid, Walgreen's, Kroger's, Target, and Walmart.
    • ...and we left out quite a lot.

    We think that the four page press release is a pretty devious tactic. Anyone who reads all the way through is gonna have a massive need for their product.

    Also of note from Sinus Buster. They advertise on Howard Stern - and have a rather profane commercial that is getting some buzz.

    We no likey. Profanity is cheap advertising, and does nothing for the brand. Advertising gimmicks are called gimmicks for a reason.

    We can't think of any brand - ever - that has succeeded through the use of overt profanity in advertising other than porn (and perhaps blue comedy.) We're too frickin' tired to look any further than that.

    [Update: 1/29/2007 - We have closed comments on this post due to a rather passionate response from fans of Sinus Buster that seem to really like the profane commercial - and they like to show their affection by demonstrating their knowledge of additional four letter words.

    We did get a nice note today from a fellow named Paul that said this:
    Maybe Tate should find out how many people Sinus Buster have helped before he comments on it. The product has changed our lives and Tate is worried about a 4 letter word. Why doesn't Tate find out where the [ed]"s**t" word comes from. He may find that story much more interesting and maybe it may even hit home.
    Well, Tate did look into the world and wasn't particularly interested.

    Please note that this post doesn't do anything other than critique the advertising and PR methods chosen by the Sinus Buster team. The product may well work, but the advertising demeans the brand. Heck, I happen to think that HeadOn's advertising is horrid... but everyone who knows pop culture knows 'em. HeadOn is a joke - but a profitable one.]

    Tate Linden Principal Consultant Stokefire Consulting Group 703-778-9925

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