Can an old chemical term provide insight into the world of taglines and branding?  Tune in and find out!

I was going over some old college textbooks recently (mostly to see if I could finally find a way to part with them) and I came across a notation written by someone evidently smarter than myself in the margin.

It said "BROMIDE!!!"

...and it had an arrow pointing to an underlined phrase... which was "That is neither here nor there."

I remembered reading something about Bromides from my chemistry classes.  The original meaning of bromide has something to do with a smelly element used in some printing methods.  (Though I think it probably had the name before the printing method was devised...)

Bromide also has another purpose - it is a sedative.

While I evidently hadn't been interested enough to check this out when it might've helped my grades, I was moved to pull a dictionary to learn how this word was repurposed. Answer: Gelett Burgess used the word in a book published in 1906.  The title?  "Are You a Bromide?"  (Full text of the book can be found here.)

To badly summarize the author's point, he views Bromides as the stuff people say that really doesn't need to be said at all.  By anyone.  Ever.  (Incidentally the phrases tend to be overly polite, optimistic, trite, and phony.)

He provides examples:

• "This world is such a small place, after all, isn't it?"
• "I've had a perfectly charming time!"
• "Now, DO come and see us!"
• "Of course if you leave your umbrella at home it is sure to rain!"

Though most of these are a bit out of fashion today, his list does contain some that hit closer to home.

• "I don't know much about Art, but I know what I like."
• "...she doesn't look a day over fifty."
• "You'll feel differently about these things when you're married!"
• "I thought I loved him at the time, but of course it wasn't really love."
• "I really [shouldn't] tell you this, but..."
• "...I know you better than you know yourself!"
• "It isn't so much the heat as the humidity..."
• "I don't know what we ever did without the ______ ...."  [Telephone, Television, Internet, etc...]
• "You're a sight for sore eyes"
• "You can live twenty years in _____ and never know who your next door neighbor is."
• "He's told that lie so often that he believes it himself, now."
• "Don't worry; that won't help matters any."

Okay, so the phrasing is a little awkward to parse, but you'll note that you probably could anticipate how each phrase would end.

There are things that people say that everyone can recite right alongside.  It's a bit like if I walked into a room of first-graders and shouted "Hickory Dickory Dock!"   Assuming that they're too young to have listened to Andrew Dice Clay the majority of them would answer my call with something about climbing rodents and timepieces. 

Bromides aren't worth saying because... well... to use the power of a Bromide... they go without saying.  Or to alter the intent a bit... they are better left unsaid.

So, how does this all relate to a branding and naming blog post? 

While it is possible to achieve success using Bromides or even by being a Bromide (just look at IBM - who became their own metaphor that no one ever got fired for using...) it does take a lot more effort.  And money.  Lots more money.

Consider my old nemesis tagline - "Making Your Dreams A..."

What's the next word?  Is it "Mess?"  How about "Nice Set of Felted Slippers?"  No, likely it is neither of those things.  Making Your Dreams A Reality is perhaps the most trite of all slogans and is one I'd place firmly in the Bromide category.  Want to become world famous with that tagline?  You're looking at spending tens of millions of dollars - likely more - to get any notice at all.

A few Bromide Taglines for you to consider:

• Anything having to do with dreams or ideas and a transition to reality
• "Our Customers Come First"
• "You're Number One"
• "We're Number One!"
• "The Customer Is Always Right"
• "Best Deals In Town"
• "All Under One Roof"
• "We'll Treat You Right"
• "We've Got What You Need"
• "See Yourself Here"

This list took me about 35 seconds to make.  I'm sure that given a day I could list a couple hundred.

I can see that having a predictable tagline might be seen as a positive since it would mean people would always be able to recall your brand - but the predictability comes at a cost.  If it is predictable then chances are good the tagline is already attached to something else in the target's mind.  Or more likely lots of other things.

Worse, the predictability isn't one born out of any particular level of insight - it's a bit like a familiar tune or phrase spoken or sung in another language.  We know it because we've heard it before - but when we say it ourselves we don't actually think about the meaning.  As a recovering classical musician I am very familiar with this - I'd have to learn songs in Italian and French - two languages I don't know anything about.  I can belt out some familiar tunes from The Marriage of Figaro, but I do it out of habit, not comprehension.  I'm pretty sure I'm singing about sending some kid off to war and being broke, but the why's and how's aren't known to me.

Shouldn't your tagline be more useful than a few noises that remind people of your brand without adding any value?  (Especially when everyone else is using exactly the same noises?)

C'mon folks.  I'm sure y'all have a lot more examples of some popular Bromide taglines.

Drop a comment and let's see 'em.  (Who knows, maybe we can start a revolution against crappy branding.  We can predictably guarantee that "the revolution will not be televised.")

(...sorry.)