I've been researching bikes to use on my 15 mile round-trip commute.  My criteria? (None of which have anything to do with branding or naming so you can just skip ahead if you're only reading for that...)

1. It can't be one of those ephemeral light-weight bikes that Lance uses in the Tour. First, it'd get stolen, and second, I've got no reason to pay to have my bike weigh five to ten pounds less when I need to lose 40 pounds myself.
   
2. It needs to be able to carry a load. Not just me, but also a rack loaded with work stuff like computer, clothing, presentation materials, my pet rock collection, etc. It isn't uncommon for me to drive home with about 30 pounds of stuff that I need to schlep.
   
3. It needs to be easy to repair. If I can't fix the problem with a patch kit, tire levers, or a hex wrench I'm like as not to be walking home.
   
4. It needs to accept all of the accumulated biking stuff that I've carried along through the years. Clipless pedals, rack, fenders, lights... 
5. It needs to have decent reviews online.
6. It needs to cost less than $1000.
   
7. It needs to make me not feel like a doofus when I'm riding it. No fixies, no electric assist, no relaxed riding position...
   

In my three month search I came across about a dozen brands that have bikes that hit on four or five of the points, but none that scored across the board. Mostly the price let me down (Trek 520), or sometimes it was sold out (Novara Randonee - also, I'm nowhere near French enough to ride it), or they appear to be rebranded women's bicycles (Cannondale Adventure 2 - c'mon that's a pretty doofus-looking bike... you gotta admit.)

I'd been at a loss for ages. And then REI had a sale... and think I've bought myself the perfect bike.

The Surly Cross-Check.

Why is it perfect? Well... with the sale it is under $1000, and it meets every other one of the criterion I set.

Added bonus? The brand name and bike name seem perfect for me.

Surly? It's a name with edge and attitude - not unlike the brand we've endeavored to create at Stokefire.  And I've been known to be a bit prickly myself at times.

And Cross Check? It seems to work on two levels. First - it's what I did throughout the entire comparison-shopping experience - always finding something amiss until now. Second - it's the aggressive hockey-inspired move I'll do to anyone that calls me a doofus while I'm astride my bike. 

There is another bike made by Surly that I really wanted - but not because I thought it fit me. The name is the "Surly Long Haul Trucker" which is a wonderfully compelling (if mostly off-putting) mental image. But the fact that I could've put THIS on the fender probably would've made me buy it if it hadn't been sold out during REI's sale. Some things are just worth sacrificing one's dignity and marital peace for.

(This would've been a much better post if I could have uploaded pictures. Here's to hoping the good people at Lunar Pages or better people at Webmeadow can figure out how to get us workin' again.)