A short post today - mainly because I'm going to send you elsewhere.

Tim Girvin over at Girvin: D.log has written up a great overview of the work he did for the new Iron Man film.  (He also appears to have done good work and similar descriptions for Beowulf and The Matrix.)

I love the way he's been able to help the telling of the story even with only the selection of fonts he uses.  To appreciate the power of his work - try to imagine The Matrix titles presented in Times New Roman...  Or Beowulf delivered on a flat white background...

Tim understands that there's more to telling a story than the story itself.  The setting plays a major role.  And... it's why ghost stories don't work so well at noon, but have people cowering over the guttering campfire as the full moon rises. 

Tim - if you read this - the next time I'm out in Seattle I'm buying you a beer.  I've only known about your work for a few weeks, but I'm already a big fan.   (You're one of the reasons Stokefire brought on a Font Geek - and a cool one, of course - to help us delve deeper into the potential brand strategy and execution for our clients.)

Any designer that doesn't know his or her way around fonts is a designer that is working with a major handicap.

Who says that acronyms can't be memorable?

Well, on most days it's us.  We spend a lot of time telling our clients and audiences that acronyms are entirely forgettable. 

Today, however, we think we've found an acronym (for the Office of Government Commerce in the UK) we won't be forgetting any time soon.

Here it is:

Quick update from Stokefire today. 

Here's what's goin' on.

• We're trying an experiment - we're bringing in a few thousand creatives to help on a naming gig.  We want to see whether or not more brains equals better ideas.  We'll let you know the results when we get 'em.
  
• We've recently taken on projects for a couple associations (ARHP & AEO) and just finished work for a consulting firm in Pennsylvania and a print shop down the road in Old Town Alexandria.  More on these soon.
  
• We're prepping for speaking gigs at ACCE and ASAE national conventions in the next few months - both of which should be a lot of fun.  Non-profits are a kick to work with - and are just now beginning to accept branding as a viable alternative to wide-open advertising spending.
  
• We're a little late in posting our recent press releases, but they're in the works.  Expect to see a well-populated page o' news in the coming weeks.
  
• We're getting our third West-coast client - and it's a nice one to have.  A few interesting details:
• They're in the San Fracisco Bay Area. 
  
• They're a Fortune 500 member - and the largest company in their industry.
• They've worked with the biggest branding firm in the world... and decided that Stokefire was a better choice to solve their naming problems.
  

I feel like a proud papa.  (Of course, I *am* a proud papa - of Theodore - but this is different.)  Visiting the West coast -  the "ground zero" of the naming industry - is a pretty big deal for our boutique firm.  We've been doing very well with our common-sense approach on the right side of the Mississippi, but the West has so many options (and we advertise so little) that we basically cede California to the dozens of firms located there. 

[Note to the competition:  You don't need to return the favor by getting work in our back yard, really.]

We still cede California.  But we do like to come and visit every once in a while.

See you soon.

Yes, it's true - if you're going to rip someone off then the chances are excellent you'll do better if you give your rip-off a spiffy name.

Add Stokefire to the list of businesses that have been hit with this scheme - something that seems to be almost as pervasive as the Nigerian scams that come out every few months.  Here's how it works:

1. Receive a phone message from a Congressman's aide who says he wants to present you with the Congressional Order of Merit - and he leaves a toll-free number for you to call back.
2. When you return the call you are told that as part of the award you're also invited to serve on the Business Advisory Council and then you're instructed to listen to a taped message from congressman Tom Cole wherein he says the National Republican Congressional Committee needs your help to fight the liberal agenda.
3. You are asked for a donation of $495 after hearing Tom Cole's pitch and told that your name will be added to the list of NRCC supporters (in print) to be granted the title of "Honorary Chairman of the Business Advisory Council."  (This might seem strange, since this was supposed to be about getting the The Congressional Order of Merit, but you won't point this out to them.)
   
4. If you can't afford (or don't want to spend) that much they will offer you the same deal for the bargain price of $200.
5. If you have a fat wallet and really want that award they'll offer you a chance to have a seat at the President's Dinner for about $5,000.  It is not actually apparent whether or not the President will make an appearance here.  Karl Rove was known to show up at past events, however, so that's almost the same thing, right?

The only way you'll get your hands on the Congressional Order of Merit is if you pay for everything - which seems to have a price-tag of about $5200.

End result?  You get a couple pieces of paper, a nice night out, and your name on the NRCC donor's list.  All for doing nothing more than being on a calling list and having money.  Cool!

But think about this... would anyone ever spend money if this thing didn't have a nifty name? 

"Hi - we're with the NRCC and we'd like you give us money for our 'Feed the Rich' campaign.'  We'll even feed you lunch and dinner."

 See?  It doesn't work. 

Unfortunately the name has some serious flaws which become evident after you perform a Google search on it.  The very first hit is a story by Ira Flatow who very quickly exposes the whole thing as a charade.  You have to go through about three pages of links before you find the first mention that doesn't have the word "scam" in it.  One wonders how many Republican fund raisers now have Earl Stevenson on their quick-dial.

So what's the flaw?  Well, let's look at the very first aspect of the FAINTS system: Fidelity.

Is "The Congressional Order of Merit" a name that rings true?  It seems to imply two things:  One, that the US Congress is providing the Order, and Two, that they're acknowledging something that is meritorious.  Are either in fact the case?  Seems like the answer is no - even if we're generous.  Sure, this thing is sponsored by a committee that is related to Congress, but it isn't congress.  To have fidelity this should be "The National Republican Congressional Committee Order of..." but they seem to have left out a few of the words.   As for merit-worthiness.  Donating to the NRCC is indeed worthy of note from the NRCC and they may even consider a donation as deserving Merit if it is big enough.  But Congress would never (or should never) provide a similar label for something as mundane as opening a wallet.

Once this falls down on the Fidelity measurement the rest doesn't matter.  As the Google search shows us - the entire campaign is torn apart on the Internet and the reason it draws this attack isn't that it is a fund-raiser... it is that this is a dishonest identity.  They're not selling (or giving away) what the name suggests.  A score of (-5) on the Fidelity scale effectively kills this very promising and powerful name.  You can't expect to label your wheelbarrow of mud as prime rib and expect that people will continue to enthusiastically buy your product.  People may buy the mud once, but they're going to spread the word that the steak your selling is just wet dirt.  And they'll be pissed.

Two quick notes before I finish.
1) If you run a search on "congressional order of merit" on the NRCC website you return a sum total of zero hits.
2) The "Business Advisory Council" that we are told is an honor to participate in is listed under the NRCC Donor Programs - Individual contribution opportunities.

So - they're offering you an award they don't officially acknowledge (which is odd for something they tell you is their "highest honor") and giving you a title synonymous with NRCC donor.  How much is that worth?

Lesson:  Be truthful about what you're offering with your name and brand.  Make sure you consider the impact of overstating your product's benefits - or your overall brand image may suffer the consequences.


Many thanks to Tom Cole (R-Oklahoma) for an entertaining morning of name and brand exploration.  (In case you were wondering what Congressman Cole does with his days - "Tom Cole spends most of his time listening to people."  That explains why he's still running this game... Google usually doesn't talk.)

Me.
Evidently last month at some point I adjusted the Thingnamer SPAM settings in frustration so that they were a tad too sensitive.  Evidently the only person allowed to comment on the site was me.  As incredibly persuasive and intellectually compelling as this made the site for me, it evidently didn't go over so well with our readers. 

It took the following note for me to get the point:

"I know what happened to the Soup Nazi.  You have him moderating your blog.  NO COMMENTS FOR YOU!"

Sorry folks.  I think I've fixed the problem. 

You can get back to your astute observations on my flawed ramblings in the near future.

Unless you point out my flaws, of course.  You may get past my SPAM filter, but my SYCOPHANTS ONLY filter is still set pretty high.

In last night's Simpsons episode (Papa Don't Leech) there was a quick exchange between Lisa Simpson and Mayor Quimby that fans of destination branding (and taglines) can appreciate. 

The setup - At the three minute mark in the show Lisa visits Quimby to sell him cookies (Skinny Mints!) and he attempts to pay from the city vault...

Lisa:  Where's all the money?
Quimby:  Why it's right... Uh-oh.  We spent all our money on that new slogan for Springfield. 
[Cut to view out the window where we see a billboard that says "SPRINGFIELD: GOOD"]

Honestly... it's at least as good as most of the recent location branding efforts we've seen lately.  Say WA anyone?  At least Springfield has an excuse for their cartoonish looking Power Trip.

Kudos to the Simpsons writers for pointing out that the clothes the branding industry is wearing right now aren't exactly visible.

The good folks at Genius Rocket and Tapatap are trying to find out.

I spent an hour fiddling with their tools last night and figured I'd see if a naming pro had a prayer when up against the masses (where the masses seem to have the vote...)

So far my skills (note the lack of "z" on the end of that word) seem to be lacking in the eyes of the horde.  (You can search Tapatap for user name "tateiam" and you'll find the rest of my quick brainstorm.)  Feel free to pile on the negativity...

I can take it.

Here's a quickie I did for a campaign by Mervis Diamonds that is going to run in The Onion:

...it's because it is called "Yosemite."

If you ask me (and someone did ask me, so I've got a reason to be talking about this...) one of the prime reasons that ANWR "energy exploration" seems to be gaining support is because the words used as synonymous with "oil drilling" are pretty, and the words used to describe the land it will be done on sound like a government prison facility.

Are you kidding me?  Who in their right mind (or left mind) would want to protect something with that name?



Apparently Sorkin agrees with me... You don't see many politicians asking to pave Yosemite National Park, do you?  Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that the name is not habitually shortened to YNP (which would be no less hard to pronounce than ANWR - and just as intuitive as "Yose-mite.") 

Sure, there's a decent chance that geography plays a role - few people are motivated to protect a refuge that they'll never visit in a land that is covered in snow and ice.  But - why not call it something that would give it the respect those who are passionate about it feel it deserves?

It's a lot harder to get approval for a drilling project when congress has to approve rights for defiling the "Arctic Pristine Refuge" (and NOT APR)  than it is to sink a drill into ANWR.

Why is it that those with passion and intellectual capacity (environmentalists) rarely see that using the same technique (anger and logic) with a group of people who don't want to listen (industrialists & bureaucrats) usually doesn't work? 

The key to having an acronym that works is to invest the time to make sure everyone knows what it means.  ANWR certainly doesn't qualify there.  KFC, IBM, and DKNY have paid their dues (and massive advertising bills.)  Can anyone tell me how much ANWR spends on marketing?  (Perhaps this is why there are currently no advertisers on Google for "ANWR tourism"?)

What will it take for this to change?  A realization that brand is important and that we Americans are motivated not by logic but by our passions.  Appeal to my sense of patriotism and pride before you try to guilt me into protecting that patch of snowy land... and I just might show up with my long-johns.

Okay...

So DC is starting a campaign to attract people to visit the seat of power... and they're doing it with a play on words that points out that we in DC are full of ourselves.

I can see this sort of humor working in New Jersey, perhaps, but in our Nation's Capitol?  This is a concept that doesn't work on soooo many levels. 

Yet again we find that focus grouping does not help build a brand.  The head of Destination D.C. is heard on the news clip on NBC saying they tested the idea and people liked it.  Sure!  It's cute.  It's a bit funny... but I'll be very surprised if either the slogan or the ads end up bringing anyone to our area.

The advertisements are really strange (also viewable on the previous link) - almost ignoring the play on words and showing awkward couples dining and dancing while two dimensional graphics zoom around trying to indicate that there's excitement here. 

I just don't get it.  Who does this connect with?

Yes, we're selling the opportunity to see the seat of power in the US - but to execute with a peculiar and unacknowledged humor and flat advertising that could just as well be trying to sell you car insurance seems off. 

If you want power mentioned - why not use it in a positive sense - like referencing the fact that DC makes power, or suggesting that people can be a part of the power generation.  When pairing Virginia is For Lovers and "Create your own power trip" - the latter leaves me flaccid. 

Does the campaign work for anyone out there?

A respectable cure for man-breasts?  One can only hope...

Sarah (the adoring adored wife of the Thingnamer) found a site that just begs to be ogled.  I felt an irresistible urge to check it out.  Why?  Well... What do you get when you combine a world leader with a couple extra pounds on his frame with a well tested underclothing support-system that keeps stuff from wiggling around?

The answer seemed obvious when we heard this website name.  Imagine a man-bra endorsed by someone in such a high office...  Finally men with prominent pectoral fatty deposits can feel confident again!  (If Putin can get behind this could Bush be far behind?)